Words Are Fatal

let's bring things up to speed quickly...

2009-06-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

- dad and I got into it. no longer staying with him.
- got blink tickets for chula vista on september 16th
- job is starting to get shady again
- might finally have a "career" in the music biz
- thinking about going back to school
- brittany ulbrich is a fucking troll and a slut to boot. fuck that bitch.
- allison powers is my favorite person in the world.

and now I'm off to Millions of Milkshakes with my boo.

11 more days

2009-06-01T15:56:00.001-07:00

until I turn 23. And then this lyric will finally apply to me:

"Nobody likes you when you're 23 and you still act like you're in freshman year..."

I better not have to tell you where that's from either.

Anyway, while we're on the subject - I'm bummed to the max that I didn't get tix for Irvine. My summer plans seem to be dwindling down to nothing. Hawaii with Allison is off now since I lost my job. It's too late to get affordable tickets for the week of our 2 year anniversary. Now it seems like I'm not going to see the one band I've been dying to see.

*sigh*

In other news, I'm working again. I've also been seeing some positive feedback on my music (beats) and now one of my artists (Marvilus) is doing a track with Nocturnal and getting paid a G for ONE verse. Props to Lloyd for putting me on as well. I got an email back from a guy he got me in contact with that might be able to get me some big money for my beats. Shit, if I can make a couple g's off these beats I've been working on I'll be straight fot the summer. Actually if I get 2 g's I'm buying Allison's car off her...

It's like someone just time warped me to Sophomore Year

2009-05-13T12:25:00.001-07:00

"Blink-182's summer tour is set to start on July 24th til October with ticket prices ranging from $20-$60. Fall Out Boy and Weezer will support." from Absolutepunk.net

Teenage girls around the US are going to have their ginies tickled to the point of destruction. And I will be there to witness the pop-punk glory of it all.

Silly

2009-05-08T13:39:00.001-07:00

Silly Girl, I knew it all along
you can't keep up this charade, just admit you were wrong
you went from talking like a big shot, like some kind of boss
but you know down in your heart all you're feelin is loss
you wanna act like you do give a fuck, but thats all games
and I was right from day one to handle it this way
now I'm happier than I've been in a long long time
you want to know why?
cause I let my insecurities die

(ITS A WORK IN PROGRESS LOL)

Murs - Break Up (The OJ Song)

2009-04-23T12:41:00.000-07:00

I think every man can relate to this song...I know I can. Even after all these years, sometimes you hear a line or two in a song that makes you go "Damn" over someone from your past and you just gotta laugh about it.

holy shit.

2009-04-07T22:47:00.000-07:00

I remember this feeling.

2009-03-16T04:29:00.000-07:00

It's almost 5 in the morning and I can't sleep.

Insomnia? Stress? Anxiety? I don't know what to call it.

I'm losing faith in myself slowly. I've been at a creative standstill as of late. I downloaded Photoshop CS3 today with hopes of jumping back into graphic design again but I can't come up with anything I like. I wanted to redesign my music page on myspace to promote the new music I've working on. I've also been trying to get myself focused in on this new "Life of a Gemini" project I've been working on with Larry, but can't seem to come up with anything for that either.

Let's throw in the fact that once again I'm jobless, broke, and showing no signs of productivity.

What happened to me?

REST IN PEACE, BIG

2009-03-09T19:08:00.000-07:00

It's been 12 years since we lost the king.

R.I.P. B.I.G.

March 9th, 1997

GRIZZLY!

2009-03-02T17:27:00.000-08:00

Winter has showed itself to be a cold and harsh one this year. Recession got us all broke! To fight the cold, and to add to my rugged manliness, I've decided to bring back my old friend - THE BEARD!

Although Allison (and most of the women in my life) hate it, I think it makes me look more like my spirit animal (which I believe is a grizzly bear). Think about it...I'm cute and cuddly, but when provoked or threatened I become hostile and vicious! I'm hairy and big, I will pretty much eat anything, and I love to sleep for long periods of time.

In other news, here's a list of things I'm excited for.

-Possible Blink 182/Weezer tour in the fall?! IT'S LIKE FRESHMAN YEAR ALL OVER!
-REAL Pink Dolphins?!
-Eminem drops Relapse on May 19th!
-Andrew let me borrow Call Of Duty: World At War so give me a week or two and I'll PWN all of you (hey, I'm amazing at MK vs. DC and it's the only game I own, haha...)

Wigger is a funny word.

2009-02-09T22:24:00.001-08:00

I HANG OUT WITH THE WEIRDEST PEOPLE.

2009-02-08T13:25:00.000-08:00

I never got around to posting this, but here are two short clips I recorded when hanging out with my girlfriend and our friends...I really do have the oddest people in my life.

R.I.P. BIG PUN

2009-02-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

Updates. Not like you care.

2009-01-25T23:06:00.000-08:00

So since last time, I've been up to a whole lot.
A whole lot of NOTHING.

I lost one job, got another, and two days later lost that job.
I'm completely broke and my cell phone has been disconnected.
I witnessed the first black president take his place in the white house.
I still haven't contacted Dims and he's still in the hospital.
I've spent a lot of time with my wonderful girlfriend who's been there to keep my head high when I felt like giving up.
And I've recently reconnected with friends I haven't spent any time with.

Things are...OK.

2009 is going to be a year of change for sure.

I'm gonna finish bartending school. That's my goal and my only option right now to make money, legally.

I'm also going to start working out again starting tomorrow.

I think I've been too lax lately and I haven't been putting my all into anything.

So here's to fresh starts.

Peace and Love,
Fatal

I don't know what to do.

2009-01-14T13:05:00.000-08:00

I find myself at a crossroads, so to speak.

Last June I had a complete falling out with one of my closest homies after my girlfriend accused him of taking advantage of her when I was passed out and she was drunk. He was on extasy and pretty drunk himself and says he didn't do it...but my girl swears on everything he did. She said he put his hand up her shirt, tried to unbutton her pants, and tried to do other things to her. She tried to wake me up she said but I was passed out. This was on my birthday. We had a kickback here at my pad to celebrate and we all got wasted. When I finally woke up he got really nervous and took off. I didn't understand why until my gf told me as she burst into tears.

Now normally I'd have beaten the shit out of this guy, but the situation is different. He's one of my BEST friends (at least, I thought he was) and he's a part of my crew. When it comes to the crew, you can't just go out and start doing shit especially if he says he didn't do it.

We have never spoken since and all of the people in my crew know to never have us in the same place because I will resort to violence.

Now however, it seems like Karma has caught up to my homie. And I feel terrible.

On Sunday, he was waiting for a bus when he was hit by vehicle. I'm told he's in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) and according to another friend of mine "it doesn't look too good for him". They said his whole left side of his body may be paralyzed if he makes it.

Now I'm faced with the decision of forgiving this guy for what he did, as much as I hate him for it...or let him possibly pass without ever making my peace with him.

What would you do?

FUCK YOU, Brett Michaels

2009-01-05T21:14:00.000-08:00

I'm sick of Brett Michaels.
Why does that dinosaur get all the finest bitches?

LA's hottest DJ LADY TRIBE is on the new season of Rock of Love and last seasons Daisy De La Hoya...mmmmm. I'm envious maximus right now.

In an alternate universe, one where I was single and had a boatload of cash...I'd be wifing these breezys for SURE.

I hope you've had the time of your life.

2009-01-03T13:36:00.000-08:00

Things haven't gone the way I thought they would.
I've had this house to myself since December 26th and so far, I've done nothing exciting.

My New Years Eve was shitty and the only friends who came over were Larry and Sandra. Thinking I was going to have to watch my house and play host to the many friends I had invited, I let my girlfriend go out with her girls so that she could do her own thing for once and have fun.

Well I'm glad she did...cause I was here bored as fuck.

I had a lot of friends flake out on me and I've learned who is fake and who isn't. For those of you who front like "dick, lets kick it sometime!" or "how come you don't hit me up?"...you had your shot and you blew it.

This year is going to be a year of reorganization and efficiency. I'm going to cut people out who are no longer necessary to my life, I'm going to continue to budget my money wisely and keep making it work for me, and I'm going to get rid of all the baggage and excess in my life. I'm also getting studio equipment so I can quit with all these lazy ass bands I get involved with and make things happen musically on my own terms.

I'm also going to work on ME this year. I need to get in shape. I need new clothes. I need a new car and hopefully my own place. Starting on my first pay check, I'm going to establish a savings plan to make things happen.

Oh yeah, and a big fuck you to anyone who doubts me.

-Steven

MMMM Pizza

2008-12-27T18:48:00.000-08:00

I forgot how much I love Joes Pizza. If you're ever in the Monterey Park area (or on the 60 headed to anywhere between Wilcox and Atlantic Blvd) you should hit them up. I'd say it's my favorite pizza, even though I was fired from there a year ago. Either way, Joe makes a hell of a pizza and knowing how into freshness he is with the toppings and dough, it makes for a better tasting pizza and my loyalty.

Today I ordered a Jumbo Montebello special, Pepperoni + Sausage + Mushrooms...
$20.20, plus I used a coupon for $2 off. Gave it as the tip to the new delivery guy.

So far, so good.

I've been drinking cokes and powerade all day along with it.
Gotta stay energized and keep the electrolytes up.

Anyway, I'm off to play some more Mortal Kombat vs. DC, which Larry is currently hogging.

LA Fashion District

2008-12-26T13:04:00.000-08:00

Today I'll be heading out to the LA Fashion District (again this week) to do some after the holidays shopping. I'll be joined by Amy, Lora, and of course my baby boo Allison. Hopefully I can come up on some fly threads for the new year. Either way, I've got trees to burn and cash to drop.

One Love, ya'll.

Christmas Gift List

2008-12-25T21:10:00.000-08:00

1. Cash ($140)
2. XBox 360
3. Boxers
4. Socks (Black)
5. White Tee's
6. Axe Shower Gel/Spray/Deodorant Set
7. A Toshiba Satellite Laptop
8. (2) AMC Movie Passes
9. $5 In N Out gift card
10. Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe (XBox 360)
11. A grey shirt
12. A (cute) grey sweater (XXXL!)
13. Various Munchies
14. $25 Guitar Center gift card
15. Microsoft Office 2007 (Home/Student version) for Windows

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T13:40:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, ya'll!

I hope everyone has a safe one.
I'll be driving to Hisperia/Fontana to visit my sister this year.
It's supposed to rain tonight, so please pray for my safety.

I should be good though...I've got Christmas trees to spark, mixes by DJ Scooter (I'm seriously loving his Secret Love Affair mixtape, the greatest love songs in hip hop EVER), and Allisons car (which I love to drive.

I'll post a list of everything I get tomorrow. Peace out, loves.

I feel really stupid.

2008-12-23T18:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I let myself believe that everything is actually ok.
That no matter what happens, I've got things under control...
That certain people will always be there for me, and that certain bonds and promises will remain in tact.

But thats only in a perfect world.
And there is NO such thing as a perfect world.

I myself am far from perfect.
But I do my best to keep a balanced life.

I live and love everyone and everything a different way.
And my relationships vary between friend, significant other, family, etc

I just hate when someone says they're going to be there, that they'll try to text or call more often, and that they're going to try to make time for me...and they never do. They're always too busy, too far away, or have some kind of excuse.

It seems with all the women in my life, I end up expecting them to understand more of me than they really do. And with all the men, I end up finding some way to hate them.

I dunno, this whole post is pointless.

Anyway, if you got a gift from me this year feel special.
I'm far from being stable and I still managed to think of YOU over myself.

Christmas Countdown!

2008-12-23T00:13:00.000-08:00

3 More days! I can't wait until Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!

I've worked my ass off to get all my gifts, put real thought into each gift as well as maintained a budget. I don't get another pay check until January 15th so I had to save some money to maintain until then. Hopefully I get some cash for Xmas to spend. Either way, I'm getting some great things. I already bought myself a new phone (which I LOOOOVE; a palm centro), got a new laptop (which I've been using EVERY possible moment I can), and recently acquired confirmation of my mothers gift - an Xbox 360. Plus, Allison is getting me Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe for it. I'm seriously excited just so I can do this:

God, I'm like a kid again.

Blow Up L.A. - The Best Christmas Party EVER

2008-12-21T14:21:00.000-08:00

Last night the gang (Allison, Lora, Brittany, Larry, and yours truly) picked up a dub from yNot, grabbed some booze from Rite Aid, and headed out to Downtown LA. I had google mapped the address to Blow Up LA ahead of time, but somehow we still got lost and I almost hit a car (*ALMOST*). We turned around and found it (it's off Main & 3rd, on the left hand side) and parked in the same lot we had parked last month. We didn't pay for our parking and just chilled in/around the car drinking and bumping tunes until 10:45. We had RSVP'd so we could get in for $5 and so we had to be in by 11. I held my weed in my hands so I could sneak it in and the patted us all down and let us in smoothly. Oh yeah, and my co-workers Naj and Marvojee met up with us at that point. While waiting in line, this black security guard tried to hit on my girl and she was like, um, this is my boyfriend. I turned and gave the "thuggest" sounding "sup" I could. He says "oh, what's up..." and then tells my girlfriend "He's a pretty big guy..." and then walks away. I was so proud of my lady for that, and she was so glad to have this.

Anyway...

So we head straight to the photo booth and take the following pics:

Then we hit the dance floor and shake our booties.

Now the music was good, I mean...nothing special, typical stuff you hear at clubs like this. We hit the smoking section several times and enjoyed Our first two Vodka/Monsters for $3 each (I tipped one dollar as well). Atfer 11, though, the drinks were $6 each. Later that night we did a complete round of 5 Vodka/Monsters for exactly $30 (sorry I couldn't tip again, bartender lady). After a few bowls smoked out of my sneak-a-toke (it's actually a metal pipe painted like a cancer stick), all the liquor in my system, and the second hand smoke I had inhaled, we were quite the wreck. More dancing, more making out in public, then another photo session.

THEN

Larry and Lora end up getting WAY fucked up and can't even stand anymore. I took Larry and Allison back to the car for air and we waited while Brittany kept Lora company. I had fun playing "keep the alchys from falling onto the concrete". I didn't succeed, though. Allison sat against a wall that smelled of homeless Urine. And Larry, well, Larry just took a nap on the blacktop. Luckily by that time the other girls showed up.

The drive home was magical, of course.

The debate over having the windows up or down, the heater on or off, and the music high or low filled the ride with much conversation and many a drunken groan.

Larry, Allison, and Lora reeked of liquor. They also vomited. Mad props to Brittany who is a true champ and held her own that night.

Overall, the night was great. I dropped everyone off and helped Allison stumble into her house. I put her to bed and made myself Hot Pockets (Supreme Pizza) before I knocked out for the night.

Greatest Christmas Party Ever.

Welcome

2008-12-20T15:36:00.000-08:00

The way I see it, millions of people across the world think their life is SO important they should write about it daily. I just don't want to be left out. So here we are. I've left the emo/teen angst filled world of LiveJournal and graduated to the more "sophisticated" and "grown up" world of Blogging. Go me.

Since my graphic design skills have greatly declined (a. because of all the weed I smoke, b. because I dropped out of art school years ago, c. I have a life now), I'll admit that I've probably stolen your html/css/javascript/layout codes. Sorry...sue me.

Anyway, what to write about...hmmmm...

well, it's Christmas time again.

I just finished pretty much all of my shopping.
I just have one person left - my girlfriend.
I ordered one gift for her online, but in fear of it not getting here on time...I think I'll buy her something else to hold her down.

Any suggestions?